1
00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:05,571
HEY.
2
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,072
HEY. DID YOU GET
THE TICKETS?
3
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,140
HA HA. WELL...
4
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,508
OH! THIS IS GREAT!
5
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,744
I ALWAYS WANTED
TO SEE THE GRAND CANYON.
6
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,823
OH, AND YOU'RE GOING TO SEE
IT, AND IT'S GOING TO BE GRAND.
7
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,158
OH, MICHAEL, SO WHEN
DOES OUR FLIGHT LEAVE?
8
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,060
"WHAT TIME DOES THE
FLIGHT LEAVE?" SHE SAYS.
9
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,862
"WHAT TIME DOES
THE FLIGHT LEAVE?"
10
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:22,298
WHEN DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
11
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:25,791
[ Gasps ] MICHAEL, YOU DID
NOT RENT US A PRIVATE JET.
12
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,626
OF COURSE I
DIDN'T.
13
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:30,129
BUT I RENTED US
SOMETHING
14
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:35,100
THAT IS 6,000 TIMES
BETTER THAN A PRIVATE JET.
15
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,035
REALLY? WHAT IS THAT?
16
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,871
BABY, FEAST YOUR
EYES
17
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:39,805
ON THAT.
18
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:40,773
WHAT'S THIS?
19
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:45,210
THAT'S THE WANDERVAN
6000.
20
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,979
A STUPID R.V.?
21
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:49,848
HEY, DON'T YOU
DISRESPECT THE WANDERVAN.
22
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,694
SHE DIDN'T MEAN
IT. SHE'S IGNORANT.
23
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,896
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOUR
BEAUTY AND EXQUISITENESS.
24
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,997
ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
25
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,321
I AM REALLY SORRY.
26
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,700
I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISRESPECT
HER. CAN I SEE THE BROCHURE?
27
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,624
YES, YOU
CAN.
28
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,102
I'M NOT IGN'ANT.
OW.
29
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,427
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
30
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,172
LOOK, I'M SORRY. IT'S
JUST THAT THIS WANDERVAN
31
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,840
IS AN EXQUISITE
PIECE OF MACHINERY.
32
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,776
THIS THING IS A ROLLING MANSION.
33
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,044
IT'S NOT AN
R.V.
34
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,278
THIS IS AN
R.M.
35
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,469
NO, YOU'RE AN R.M.
36
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,437
WHAT'S
THAT?
37
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:12,604
A REAL MORON.
38
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,517
HEY, DON'T YOU DISRESPECT
ME WITH THEM WORDS.
39
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,152
OW. YOURS SOUNDS
BETTER.
40
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,920
MICHAEL... THERE IT IS.
41
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,012
STOP.
42
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,346
STOP.
43
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,184
MICHAEL, I AM NOT DRIVING
TO ARIZONA
44
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,019
IN THAT BIG, STUPID THING.
45
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,821
HEY, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO.
46
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,923
I WILL DO THE
DRIVING.
47
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,002
YOU JUST SIT BACK AND LUXURIATE.
48
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,893
LUXURIATE, HUH?
49
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,806
THAT'S RIGHT. THIS THING
HAS RECLINING BUCKET SEATS
50
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,175
WITH THE FINEST
CORINTHIAN LEATHER,
51
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,034
SOFTER THAN DENZEL
WASHINGTON'S HANDS.
52
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,780
NOW, YOU IMAGINE
YOUR BIG, PRETTY BOOTY
53
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:47,083
PROPPED UP IN DENZEL'S
HAND GOING CROSS-COUNTRY.
54
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,207
MM.
55
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,186
OOH, LOOK AT THAT
BUMP. OH, I GOTCHA.
56
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,410
STOP, DENZEL.
57
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,022
WATCH THAT TURN.
COME HERE, COME HERE.
58
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,758
GET OVER HERE. DENZEL, STOP.
MICHAEL'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
59
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,193
OKAY, SO WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY
60
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,461
ABOUT THIS IS
...
61
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,319
DENZEL, NO, BABY, STOP.
62
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,054
HA HA HA HA.
63
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,288
OW!
64
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,423
STOP!
65
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,091
OKAY.
66
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,737
YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS SOUNDS
REALLY, REALLY NICE, MICHAEL,
67
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:11,063
BUT WHY IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU RENT AN R.V.?
68
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,298
OF ALL THINGS,
YOU KNOW DOGGONE WELL
69
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,011
THAT THE WORST TRIP I EVER
TOOK IN MY LIFE WAS IN AN R.V.
70
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:17,980
WHEN I WAS A KID. YOU KNOW
THAT. I TOLD YOU THE STORY.
71
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,549
I KNOW, BUT THINGS HAVE
CHANGED SINCE THEN.
72
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,474
EVERYTHING'S
DIFFERENT NOW.
73
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,686
THE ROADS ARE
PAVED.
74
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,244
WHATEVER.
75
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,879
THIS SOUNDS
LIKE A NIGHTMARE.
76
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,958
LOOK, I KNOW, AND THAT'S
WHY THIS IS THE PERFECT TRIP.
77
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,293
SEE, I WANT TO HELP YOU
CONFRONT YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
78
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,928
AND TURN THAT BAD
MEMORY
79
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,954
INTO A BEAUTIFUL
CROSS-COUNTRY EXPERIENCE.
80
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,422
YOU DO?
81
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,268
YEAH. PLUS, IF WE FLY,
WE'RE GOING TO MISS OUT
82
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,971
ON ALL THE HISTORICAL LANDMARKS
THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS TO OFFER.
83
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,730
THINK ABOUT THE
AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN,
84
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:49,268
THE PURPLE MOUNTAINS'
MAJESTY ABOVE THE FRUITED PLAIN.
85
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:52,314
♪ AMERICA ♪ I KNEW YOU
WERE GOING TO DO THAT. I KNEW.
86
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,275
♪ AMERICA ♪ I KNEW. I KNEW.
87
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,087
DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WORDS,
DO YOU?
88
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,211
♪ EE
NO, YOU DON'T.
89
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,412
♪ AH
90
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,591
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO, I'LL GO!
91
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,216
JUST STOP
SINGING!
92
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,028
I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT
THIS, BUT I WILL GO.
93
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:07,062
JUST
PLEASE.
94
00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:09,821
♪ FROM SEA
TO SHINING SEA ♪
95
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,889
MICHAEL!
96
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,391
SORRY.
97
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,961
IT'S NOT LEGAL NOT TO
FINISH THE SONG, BABY.
98
00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,429
YEAH,
RIGHT.
99
00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:19,308
I WANT TO SEE YOU TELL THE
KIDS. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE.
100
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,709
OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.
101
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,444
THEY GOING TO BE SO
THRILLED WHEN THEY SEE
102
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:25,204
THE WANDERVAN 6000.
103
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,349
IS THIS SOME KIND OF
JOKE? ARE YOU GUYS HIGH?
104
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,974
YES, I'M HIGH
OFF THE FACT
105
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,986
THAT WE'RE GOING TO SEE THIS
GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS TOGETHER.
106
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,844
IT'S GOING TO BE
SO MUCH FUN.
107
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,179
HA!
108
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,558
FUN? IT SOUNDS
LIKE TORTURE.
109
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,593
TWO WEEKS WITH YOU
IN A SMALLER HOUSE?
110
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,395
I CAN BARELY TAKE
IT IN THIS HOUSE.
111
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,596
BESIDES, ISN'T
R.V.ing
112
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,865
SOMETHING OLD PEOPLE
DO BEFORE THEY DIE?
113
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,557
OOH, NO, SHE DIDN'T.
NO, SHE DIDN'T.
114
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,795
SO I GUESS YOU DON'T WANT
TO SEE ALL THE MALLS
115
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,531
BETWEEN HERE
AND THE GRAND CANYON.
116
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,966
MALLS?
117
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,178
YOU MEAN THERE ARE OTHER
MALLS BESIDES THE MALL?
118
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:59,371
SEE, THIS IS THE REASON
WHY WE'RE TAKING THIS TRIP...
119
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:03,175
SO WE CAN ANSWER
THOSE PROFOUND QUESTIONS.
120
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,320
OH. WELL, I'M
IN.
121
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,711
WELL, I HAVE AN ISSUE.
122
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,957
I CAN'T GO TWO WEEKS
WITHOUT ANOTHER KID TO TALK TO.
123
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,982
OKAY, IS THERE ROOM
IN THE R.V. FOR ONE MORE?
124
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:13,151
"IS THERE ROOM IN THE R.V.
FOR ONE MORE?" SHE SAYS.
125
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,554
"IS THERE ROOM
IN THE R.V. FOR ONE MORE?"
126
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,666
OKAY, JUST GO ASK FRANKLIN
IF HE CAN COME ALONG.
127
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,625
THAT WORKS FOR
ME.
128
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,127
COUNT US OUT.
COUNT YOU OUT?
129
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,706
THE PROBLEM, MR.
KYLE,
130
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,574
IS WE'RE STILL A
NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE,
131
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,876
AND WE NEED OUR
PRIVACY, CHI-CHI.
132
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,234
Jay: OH, GOD.
133
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,436
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING
TO DO IN PRIVATE
134
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,605
THAT YOU CAN'T DO
AROUND US?
135
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,575
AAH!
136
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,611
DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT
TO ME AGAIN. I'M YOUR FATHER.
137
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,613
NOT TO YOU. TO HER.
138
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,881
AAH!
139
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,984
YOU DON'T EVEN SAY THINGS
LIKE THAT TO HER.
140
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,320
DAD, I DON'T THINK
YOU HEARING ME CORRECTLY.
141
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,392
OHH. YEAH,
THAT'S...
142
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,337
AAH! I TOLD YOU,
DON'T SAY IT, BOY.
143
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,106
NOW, LOOK, WE BOOKED THIS R.V.,
144
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,774
AND WE'RE ALL
GOING, AND THAT'S IT.
145
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,376
VANESSA, YOU ARE A KYLE NOW,
146
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,144
SO YOU DO WHATEVER STUPID
THING THE REST OF THIS FAMILY DOES.
147
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,402
STUPID. YEAH.
148
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,037
OKAY, MR. KYLE,
OKAY.
149
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,182
FINE. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO
SEE THE GRAND CANYON, ANYWAY.
150
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:09,107
YOU KNOW,
I WONDER HOW HIGH IT IS.
151
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,611
AAH!
152
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,984
HA HA HA HA.
SO I GUESS WE'RE ALL SET.
153
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,896
JUST HAND ME THE KEYS
TO THAT BABY,
154
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,554
AND WE'LL
HIT THE ROAD, JACK.
155
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,967
I WILL, BUT INSURANCE LAWS
REQUIRE ME TO SHOW YOU
156
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,802
A LITTLE SAFETY VIDEO FIRST.
157
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,260
OH, NO,
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
158
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:29,471
WE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING
WE NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE LEAVE.
159
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,229
ALL RIGHT, HAVE A
SEAT,
160
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,375
AND I WILL BE BACK IN 3
HOURS AND 10 MINUTES.
161
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:36,702
WHAT?
162
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,270
[ GROANS ]
163
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:41,840
Man: THANK YOU FOR
CHOOSING THE WANDERVAN 6000,
164
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,077
THE MOST LUXURIOUS VEHICLE
ON THE ROAD.
165
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:47,723
GOD, HIS VOICE IS BORING
AND ANNOYING. SHH.
166
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,849
I HEARD THAT.
167
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,718
TO PULL DOWN THE
AWNING,
168
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,787
USE THE HOOK ROD
LOCATED IN COMPARTMENT "B"
169
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,033
ON THE LEFT SIDE OF
THE AWNING SAFETY LATCH
170
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,892
MARKED "AWNING HOOK
ROD COMPARTMENT."
171
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,238
NOW, REMEMBER TO
ALWAYS MAKE SURE
172
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:05,997
THE REGULATOR VENT
FACES DOWNWARD
173
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,666
TO MINIMIZE VENT
BLOCKAGE,
174
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,969
RESULTING IN THE CATASTROPHIC
EXPLOSION OF YOUR VEHICLE
175
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:14,339
AND THE DEATH OF
EVERYONE ON BOARD.
176
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,741
OKAY.
177
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,619
THREE HOURS GO
BY THAT FAST? WHOA.
178
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:18,877
ANY QUESTIONS?
179
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,746
NO, THIS IS
VERY INFORMATIVE.
180
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,448
I KNOW THAT THE GREEN
LEVEL DOES THE AWNING.
181
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,361
WELL, I GUESS YOU GUYS
ARE READY TO ROCK 'N' ROLL.
182
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,762
HA HA HA HA
HA.
183
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,064
HEY, WHAT'S THAT GUY? I'VE BEEN
WATCHING HIM FOR A WHILE NOW.
184
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,122
OH, YES.
185
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,291
CECILESE MUSTACHIOS,
YES.
186
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:37,373
HE'S THE GUY WHO HOLDS
THE WORLD RECORD...
187
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,842
FROM CONNECTICUT TO THE
GRAND CANYON IN 37 HOURS.
188
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,700
OH, THAT'S INSANE.
189
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,612
GOOD LUCK WITH
THE RECORD, MR. KYLE.
190
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,047
WHAT? WHAT IS
HE TALKING ABOUT?
191
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,782
NOTHING. NOTHING. COME
ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
192
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,917
YOU WANT TO PLAY
THE TAPE AGAIN? NO, NO.
193
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:49,941
NO.
194
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,213
OKAY, I'VE GOT EVERYTHING.
195
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,526
YOU SURE DO. NOW GO PUT IT BACK.
196
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,695
I TOLD YOU, WE'RE GOING
TO BUY STUFF ALONG THE WAY.
197
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,896
TAKE THOSE SUITCASES
BACK IN THE HOUSE
198
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,020
AND PACK A SMALLER BAG.
199
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,022
ALL RIGHT, KILLJOY.
200
00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,223
SAY IT AGAIN, HEAR,
201
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,869
I'M GOING TO KILL JOY
AND KILL CLAIRE.
202
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,760
I DON'T WANT
TO GO ON THIS TRIP ANYWAY.
203
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,028
Franklin: MR. KYLE?
204
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,141
UH, YOU WILL ADDRESS
ME AS "CAPTAIN"
205
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,209
WHILE I'M MANNING THIS VESSEL.
206
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,611
OH, WHAT IS
THAT NONSENSE ABOUT?
207
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,603
WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE GREAT FOR THE TRIP
208
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,517
IF WE ALL PRETENDED WE
WERE ON THE STARSHIP.
209
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,776
[ Snorting ] HA HA HA HA.
GREAT, MICHAEL, FINE. GREAT.
210
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,077
UM...
211
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,879
WHAT IS THAT?
212
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,748
IT'S THE SIGN.
READ IT.
213
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,360
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
"MADE IN TAIWAN."
214
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,861
NO, UP... UP THERE. "CAP'N"?
215
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,719
NO, STARFLEET
CAPTAIN.
216
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,198
LISTEN UP,
EVERYONE.
217
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,367
WHILE ABOARD THE
M.K. ENTERPRISE,
218
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,769
YOU WILL ADDRESS
ME AS "CAPTAIN."
219
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,137
GOT THAT?
OVER.
220
00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,639
YEAH. YEAH
.
221
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,641
I DON'T WANT TO GO ON
THIS TRIP ANYWAY. WHATEVER.
222
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,709
IT'S THE CAPTAIN.
CAPTAIN. RIGHT.
223
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,178
ENOUGH OF THE
SARCASM,
224
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,913
OR I'LL HAVE YOU
ALL ON THE BRIDGE.
225
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,337
HA HA HA HA.
226
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:55,484
FRANKLIN, YOU ARE NOW
FIRST ENGINEER SCOTTY.
227
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,052
[ Scottish accent ]
AYE-AYE, CAP'N.
228
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:58,844
I'LL GO CHECK
THE DILITHIUM CRYSTALS.
229
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,957
WHAT'S THAT? IT'S THE STUFF THAT
POWERS THE ENTERPRISE, CAP'N.
230
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,927
REALLY? NO, IT'S THE
BLUE STUFF IN THE TOILET.
231
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,695
HEY, HEY, HOW COME
HE GETS TO BE SCOTTY?
232
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,253
I WANTED TO BE SCOTTY.
233
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,631
CAN YOU DO A SCOTTISH ACCENT?
234
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,233
OF COURSE I CAN.
OKAY, LET ME HEAR IT.
235
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,492
SI, SI, EL CAPITAN.
236
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:16,828
IT IS MULTO FRIDO OUTSIDE,
CAPTAIN HOLMES, EH?
237
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,665
HA HA HA.
238
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,444
THAT'S A SPANISH ACCENT. OH.
239
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,146
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU BE SPOCK.
240
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,781
OH, I GET TO BE
THE SMART ONE.
241
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,716
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL.
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL.
242
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,942
OH, DEAR GOD, WE'RE NEVER
GETTING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY.
243
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:39,484
CAPTAIN'S LOG,
STARDATE 2057-043...
244
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:43,198
WE EMBARK ON OUR JOURNEY
TO THE GRAND CANYON.
245
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,001
WE ARE GOING TO GO
THERE IN UNDER 37 HOURS.
246
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,703
WHAT?! MICHAEL, YOU SAID
THAT WE WERE GOING
247
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,328
TO STOP AT HISTORICAL SITES
ALONG THE WAY.
248
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,940
WE ARE, ON THE WAY
BACK.
249
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,942
SEE, WE'LL GO TO
THE GRAND CANYON,
250
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:55,744
WE'LL SEE THAT, AND
THEN WE'LL MOSEY ON BACK,
251
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,346
AND WE'LL SEE ALL THOSE SIGHTS.
252
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,303
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL.
253
00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,838
MICHAEL, WHY ON EARTH
254
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,140
WOULD YOU WANT TO DRIVE
TO THE GRAND CANYON
255
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:03,909
UNDER 37 HOURS?
256
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,988
BECAUSE IF I BREAK THE RECORD,
257
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,913
THEN ALL THE GAS IS
FREE,
258
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:11,449
PLUS THEY THROW IN A
WANDERVAN 6000 KEYCHAIN.
259
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,151
AND ON TOP OF
THAT,
260
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:16,221
INSTEAD OF MY FACE
MUSTACHIO, P
261
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,734
AND I BECOME THE NEW CECILESE.
262
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,493
SO THAT'S WHAT
THIS IS ALL ABOUT...
263
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,229
YOU WANT TO DRIVE NONSTOP
FROM CONNECTICUT TO ARIZONA
264
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:26,965
JUST SO THAT YOUR FACE
CAN BE IN A PICTURE
265
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,568
IN AN R.V. SALESMAN'S
OFFICE.
266
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:30,535
DUH.
267
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,003
OH, MICHAEL,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
268
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,539
"R.V.ing FOR DUMMIES"
SAYS YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
269
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,741
DRIVE MORE THAN
300 MILES A DAY.
270
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:40,579
RIGHT... "FOR DUMMIES."
I'M NOT A DUMMY, JAY, OKAY?
271
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,253
IF YOU'RE NICE
TO ME
272
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,950
AND YOU'RE
SUPPORTIVE...
273
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,728
I'LL GIVE YOU THE KEYCHAIN.
274
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,453
OH, MY GOD.
I GET THE KEYCHAIN.
275
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,822
OH, WHAT ARE WE
WAITING FOR?
276
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,190
Claire: HAPPY?
277
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,937
YES, VERY. NOW SIT IN, STRAP
YOURSELVES IN, LET'S GO.
278
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,761
I'VE USED TOPOGRAPHICAL
MAPS
279
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,830
TO CHART THE MOST
FUEL-EFFICIENT ROUTE.
280
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,842
WE'LL BE TRAVELING
DOWNHILL MOST OF THE WAY.
281
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,100
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL.
282
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,211
JUNIOR, SHUT
UP.
283
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:04,313
IT'S NOT JUNIOR,
IT'S SPOCK.
284
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,614
OKAY, SPOCK, SHUT
UP.
285
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,771
IT'S MR. SPOCK.
286
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,150
MR. SPOCK,
SHUT UP!
287
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,141
SPOCK, WHAT ARE
YOU EATING?
288
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,256
IT'S A VULCAN TRAIL MIX...
CABBAGE AND BEAN SALAD.
289
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,382
JUNIOR, WHEN YOU GET
A FREE MOMENT,
290
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,852
I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM
CHANGING THE LIGHT BULBS.
291
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:21,953
AAH!
292
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,823
THAT AIN'T
LOGICAL.
293
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:28,760
WOMEN... LOVELY CREATURES,
BUT HIGHLY EMOTIONAL.
294
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,773
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
295
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,965
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
296
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,844
HEY, WHAT? THE BOOK SAYS
THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
297
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,803
GLIDE OVER THE SPEED BUMPS
AT A VERY SLOW RATE...
298
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:42,774
NOT IN THE WANDERVAN
6000.
299
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,954
OKAY, THIS THING WAS BUILT
WITH GERMAN TECHNOLOGY.
300
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,218
IT'S MADE TO GO OVER
SPEED BUMPS. WATCH THIS.
301
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,517
OH!
302
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,419
MICHAEL!
303
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,655
THAT WASN'T
THAT BAD, HUH?
304
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,393
SCOTTY.
305
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,560
Franklin: AYE, CAP'N.
306
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,839
I NEED MORE
POWER.
307
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,264
BUT, CAP'N,
SHE'LL BREAK THE CORE.
308
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:07,599
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL.
309
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,211
BOY, YOU STOP WITH
THE "LOGICAL" IN MY EAR,
310
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,802
ALL RIGHT?
311
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,782
THAT AIN'T LOGICAL, MAMA.
GET OUT OF MY FACE, JUNIOR.
312
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,366
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT SPOCK ANYMORE.
313
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,657
AND WHAT THE HELL
IS THAT YOU'RE DOING?
314
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,181
THAT'S THE VULCAN
SLEEP PINCH.
315
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,582
SLEEP, DADDY.
316
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,084
SLEEP.
317
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,821
YOU
AMATEUR.
318
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,438
MICHAEL, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE TAKING THE "STAR TREK"...
319
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,839
STAND DOWN,
UHURA.
320
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,675
WHAT YOU CALL ME?
UHURA.
321
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,132
WHAT?
UHURA.
322
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,600
OH, BOY...
323
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,670
SHE WAS THE CAPTAIN'S
PRETTY ASSISTANT.
324
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,306
OH, WELL, YOU BETTER
ENUNCIATE NEXT U-HUR-A.
325
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,288
HERE'S YOUR COFFEE,
CAP'N. THANK YOU.
326
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,857
I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF PUTTING
A LITTLE SCOTTISH CHEER IN IT.
327
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,493
YOU PUT LIQUOR IN MY HUSBAND'S
COFFEE WHILE HE'S DRIVING?
328
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,752
NO, I JUST DROPPED
A LITTLE HAGGIS IN IT.
329
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,787
UGH!
330
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,589
I'M NOT DRINKING
THIS
331
00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:06,868
IF YOU PUT YOUR
LITTLE HAGGIS IN IT.
332
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,394
NO, HAGGIS IS YOUR
TRADITIONAL SCOTTISH DISH
333
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,762
MADE FROM LAMB INTESTINE.
334
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,507
OH. WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
335
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,032
EW!
336
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,734
I'LL BE
IN THE ENGINE ROOM.
337
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,280
THIS MUST BE WHAT
HELL IS LIKE. WHA T?
338
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,739
STUCK IN A TIN CAN
FULL OF TREKKIES.
339
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,925
DAD... HEY, HEY, HEY, PLAY
THE CAPTAIN GAME, BABY.
340
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,259
PLAY THE CAPTAIN
GAME.
341
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,784
[ Sighs ] CAPTAIN...
342
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,452
YES, YES, YES.
343
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,222
JUNIOR'S BEEN IN THE
BATHROOM FOR OVER AN HOUR.
344
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,434
IT'S THAT DAMN CABBAGE
AND BAKED BEANS HE'S EATING.
345
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,369
BOY, GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM!
346
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:42,671
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.
347
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,962
I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
348
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,340
JUST DROP ME OFF
AT THE NEAREST AIRPORT,
349
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,608
AND I'LL FLY HOME. OKAY, DEAR.
350
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:48,466
I HAVE TO
USE THE BATHROOM, TOO!
351
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,912
JUNIOR, THERE ARE OTHER
PEOPLE IN HERE BESIDES YOU!
352
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,771
GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!
353
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:56,541
Junior: GOTTA GET THIS
DEMON OUT OF ME!
354
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,420
LOOK, WELL, BOY, HURRY
UP AND BEAM IT OUT
355
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,088
AND LET SOMEONE ELSE IN THERE.
356
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,046
BAD NEWS, CAPTAIN.
WE'RE LOST.
357
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,126
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, LOST?
358
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,117
WELL,
AT UHURA'S INSISTENCE...
359
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:10,789
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME...
U-HUR-A. U-HUR-A.
360
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,825
Y'ALL BETTER ENUNCIATE
UP IN HERE, FOR REAL.
361
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,061
WELL, AT U-HUR-A'S
INSISTENCE,
362
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,030
I CHARTED A ROUTE
TO A CAMPGROUND.
363
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,765
WE SHOULD HAVE
ARRIVED BY NOW.
364
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,210
A CAMPGROUND? I TOLD YOU
365
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,745
WE WERE GOING TO DRIVE
STRAIGHT THROUGH TO THE CANYON
366
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,180
IN LESS THAN 37
HOURS.
367
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,082
NO, NO, YOU'RE GOING
TO DRIVE STRAIGHT THROUGH.
368
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,918
THE REST OF US ARE GOING TO
REST AND STOP FOR THE NIGHT.
369
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,820
DON'T YOU WANT YOUR
WANDERVAN KEYCHAIN?
370
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,578
HA HA HA HA.
371
00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:35,557
WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,
372
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,392
WE'RE LOST SOMEWHERE
IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA.
373
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,818
GREAT! GREAT, NOW THERE'S
NOWHERE TO STOP.
374
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,085
YOU HAPPY, MICHAEL?
375
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,932
WILL YOU CALM DOWN? I
KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
376
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,867
YEAH, RIGHT. ALL WE GOT TO DO
377
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,569
IS ZIP OVER TO THE
WATACACHEE JUNCTION,
378
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:49,227
THEN GO EAST FOR 2
MILES,
379
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:52,797
AND THEN RIGHT ON TO
THE I-29 GOING SOUTH.
380
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,999
THERE IS NO I-29
GOING SOUTH.
381
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,267
YES, THERE IS.
382
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:59,237
NO, THERE ISN'T, BECAUSE
WHEN I LOOKEDSL...
383
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,907
NICE TRY, MICHAEL,
BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.
384
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,175
I KNOW WE'RE LOST.
385
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,854
SEE, THAT'S THE
BEAUTY OF THE R.V.
386
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,622
YOU'RE NEVER LOST,
BECAUSE YOU HAVE
387
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,491
EVERYTHING YOU NEED WITH YOU.
388
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,992
WE DON'T NEED A CAMPGROUND.
389
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,861
ALL WE NEED TO DO
IS JUST PULL OVER
390
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,996
TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
AND RECHART THE COURSE
391
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,531
THE SAME WAY THE PIONEERS DID.
392
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,856
OH, NO, WE WILL NOT.
393
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,035
THE BOOK SAYS IT'S
DANGEROUS TO PULL OVER
394
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:23,394
AND PARK ANYWHERE EXCEPT
FOR OFFICIAL CAMPGROUNDS.
395
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,563
OH, MY DEAR GOD.
396
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,898
WHOO!
397
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,900
OH, HEY, WHAT
THE...
398
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,069
OH, YOU...
399
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,983
OH, YOU... GET IT,
GET IT... DON'T SMELL!
400
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,151
COME HERE, COME
HERE!
401
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,042
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?
402
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,424
DID AN ALIEN CRAWL
UP IN YOU AND DIE?
403
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,683
DID A KLINGON FALL OUT YOUR ASS?
404
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,919
OPEN THE WINDOWS.
405
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,953
PULL OVER RIGHT HERE, MICHAEL.
I DON'T CARE WHERE WE STOP.
406
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,769
MICHAEL, I GOT TO
ADMIT, THIS IS REALLY NICE.
407
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,027
ISN'T IT?
408
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,607
YOU KNOW, I FINALLY GET
WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
409
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,442
HERE WE ARE, IN THE
MIDDLE OF AMERICA,
410
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,144
THE FAMILY'S TOGETHER, NO
TELEPHONE RINGING, NO TV,
411
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,969
JUST US.
412
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,282
JUST SPENDING QUALITY TIME
WITH THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT.
413
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,750
I REALLY LOVE
THIS.
414
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,041
SO DO I.
415
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,779
ALL RIGHT,
ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP.
416
00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:17,282
WE GOT TO GET GOING.
COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO.
417
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,094
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE IT.
PICK THOSE UP. COME ON.
418
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,618
I'VE GOT IT,
I'VE GOT IT.
419
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,130
DON'T JUST STAND
THERE.
420
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,099
WE'RE ON A TIMEFRAME. COME ON.
421
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,390
LET'S GO.
422
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:31,229
MUMFORD, I NEED
THAT JITTER JUICE NOW!
423
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,464
ONE ENERGY DRINK
COMING UP.
424
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,834
MICHAEL,
YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN
425
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,871
ON ALL OF THAT CAFFEINE.
YOUR EYE IS STARTING TO TWITCH.
426
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,616
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
427
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,074
AND WHAT'S
WITH THE STUPID HAT?
428
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,920
MY BOOK DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT THAT STUPID...
429
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,678
HEY! AAH!
430
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,291
HEY, HEY, I'LL STOP ON
THE WAY BACK AND GET IT.
431
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,449
YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T FAIR.
432
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,827
YOU GUYS TRICKED ME
INTO THIS TRIP,
433
00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:54,362
TELLING ME WE WERE GOING
TO SHOP AT MALLS,
434
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,664
AND I HAVEN'T
BEEN TO ONE.
435
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,999
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK VENDING WORLD WAS?
436
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,201
CHOOSING BETWEEN MOON PIES,
BUBBLE GUM, AND CHEWING TOBACCO
437
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,592
IS NOT SHOPPING.
438
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,704
SURE IT
IS.
439
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:03,995
YEAH, TO HILLBILLIES.
440
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,707
I GUESS I'LL GO SMOKE
ON MY CORNCOB PIPE
441
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,175
AND MARRY MY COUSIN.
[ Snorts ]
442
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,067
[ HIGH-PITCHED
LAUGHTER ]
443
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:10,912
SEE, THAT'S THE KIND OF FUN
444
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,948
I WAS TALKING ABOUT
US HAVING ON THIS TRIP.
445
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,950
GREAT ONE, CLAIRE! GREAT!
446
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,041
WHY DID YOU
GIVE ME THAT!
447
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,009
GIVE IT TO ME.
448
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,444
LOOK AROUND YOU, MICHAEL.
449
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,513
EVERYBODY HERE IS EITHER
BORED, TIRED, OR DEPRESSED.
450
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,759
I'M LOOKING AROUND
ME. HA HA HA HA HA.
451
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,184
REFUGEES HAVE HAD MORE FUN
452
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:28,186
THAN YOUR FAMILY
IS HAVING RIGHT NOW.
453
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,532
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU NEED TO BE MORE ACTIVE.
454
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,833
HERE, PRESS THIS BUTTON.
PRESS THIS BUTTON.
455
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,268
I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. I DON'T
WANT TO PRESS NO BUTTON.
456
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,437
YEAH, IT'LL SEND US
INTO LIGHT SPEED.
457
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,205
YOU PRESSING MY BUTTONS. PLAY
THE GAME, BABY! PLAY THE GAME!
458
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,663
FINE! JUST BE QUIET!
459
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,131
OOH!
460
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,500
OH!
461
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,068
OH!
462
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,781
WE'RE GOING THROUGH
THE BLACK HOLE!
463
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:48,906
PAST THE MILKY
WAY!
464
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,777
WATCH OUT FOR THE ASTEROID!
465
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,189
HA HA HA
HA HA!
466
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,882
HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
467
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:00,161
TELL ME THAT WASN'T FUN.
468
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,085
NO!
469
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,520
IT'S NOT FUN.
470
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,222
MICHAEL, MY BUTT HURTS!
471
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:05,523
PULL THIS THING OVER.
472
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,235
NO, BABY, WE CAN BE AT
THE RIM OF THE CANYON
473
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,636
IN LESS THAN THREE
HOURS.
474
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,472
TWO IF YOU GIVE ME
SOME MORE JITTER JUICE.
475
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,096
NO, GIVE ME...
GIVE ME THAT!
476
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,975
NO, I NEED IT!
NO! GIVE IT TO ME!
477
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,600
PULL THIS THING OVER!
478
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,902
WATCH THE ROAD
AND PULL US OVER!
479
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:20,104
JITTER JUICE...
MWAH!
480
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,006
MICHAEL, PULL IT OVER NOW!
481
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,418
I WANT TO HAVE
SOME FAMILY TIME!
482
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,709
I WANT FAMILY TIME!
483
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:28,583
ALL RIGHT, OKAY, BABY.
WE'LL GET FAMILY TIME.
484
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:12,156
OKAY, NEXT STOP,
THE GRAND CANYON...
485
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,368
O O N.
486
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:16,294
WHOO-HOO.
487
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:22,767
Michael: WELL...
488
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,002
THERE SHE IS.
489
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,504
A BIG EMPTY HOLE?
490
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,239
IT'S LIKE LOOKING
INTO JUNIOR'S HEAD.
491
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,818
I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
492
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,776
IT SURE IS.
493
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,377
I SMELL GAS.
494
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:34,622
DON'T LOOK AT ME. I'M EMPTY.
495
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:35,913
I DO, TOO.
496
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,493
MICHAEL, DID YOU MESS WITH
THE ENGINE OR SOMETHING?
497
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:39,450
NO.
498
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,085
MICHAEL...
499
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,964
NO, ALL I DID WAS FLIP
OPEN THE REGULATOR VENTS
500
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,532
TO AIR THE PLACE
OUT.
501
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,890
REGULATOR VENTS...
502
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,602
THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE
ABOUT THAT. REGULATOR VENTS.
503
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,903
WHAT IS
THAT?
504
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:51,272
THE BOOK SAYS, "ALWAYS
CARRY A POCKET VERSION
505
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,498
"OF 'R.V.ing VACATIONS
FOR DUMMIES'
506
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,410
"JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY
TRY TO PLAY YOU OUT
507
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,835
AND THROW YOUR BOOK
OUT THE WINDOW."
508
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,804
HERE IT IS.
"REMEMBER TO MAKE SURE
509
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,839
"YOUR REGULATOR VENTS
FACE DOWNWARD
510
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,852
"TO MINIMIZE VENT BLOCKAGE,
WHICH CAN CAUSE
511
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,887
EXCESSIVE GAS PRESSURE,
RESULTING"... DOWNWA RD?
512
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,422
DOWNWARD. DOWNWAR D.
513
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:08,646
RESULTING IN THE...
514
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,882
[ EXPLOSION ]
515
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,316
OH.
516
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,785
NO!
517
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,687
THERE GOES THE JITTER
JUICE!
518
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:20,291
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET HOME?!
519
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,194
"RESULTING IN THE
CATASTROPHIC EXPLOSION
520
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,696
OF YOUR VEHICLE,"
MICHAEL!
521
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,732
HEY, LOOK,
THERE'S AN UPSIDE TO THIS.
522
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:29,534
WHAT IS THE UPSIDE
523
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:34,172
TO YOUR VEHICLE
CATASTROPHICALLY EXPLODING?
524
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,908
36 HOURS AND 24
MINUTES!
525
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,521
WE MADE IT HERE!
WE WON FREE GAS!
526
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,279
THE WHOLE TRIP WAS
FREE,
527
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:47,885
PLUS YOU GOT A
WANDERVAN 6000 KEYCHAIN.
528
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,989
HUH?
529
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,058
MY MAMA WAS RIGHT.
530
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,729
MY MAMA WAS RIGHT
ABOUT YOU.
531
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,169
YOU GOT A TO SEE THEG BIRTHPLACE
532
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,305
OF MARTIN LUTHER
KING?
533
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,739
HAVE A
DREAM.
534
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,388
YOU GOT AN ITCH TO
SEE THE LIBERTY BELL?
535
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,523
WE'RE THERE. HA HA.
536
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,026
GOT A HANKERING TO
SEE THE BIRTHPLACE OF...
537
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,050
OF... OF... OF... OF...
OF... OF... OF... OF... OF...